*Courage to Love Again*

I usually dont do this..... ok ...i'm lying..lol.... but on a serious note...Its been a long time since i've done this. Got to admit, i thought i'd quit. See, My life fell sick to a thing called love. It was kind of like i was a caged dove, with a big sign on my face that read "out of order", because that was the state of my life. So i just looked at those who passed me by with sad eyes, knowing they'd find no peace today. I'd become sold out to ideas, living like a cast away inside myself. Only because at one time time i thought i knew what true love was. In truth im writing today because my significant other thought that i couldnt possibly love him as he does me, for ive been there before... so i had to think about it, and then set my record straight. he's was wrong. I never did completely know what true love was, so what i thought i had was only love's illusion. True love comes when 1 you are loved in return, and2 when u have fallen in love with Jesus first, to know what real love is. So you see, i never really had that. So i had to ask for the right help, take my own advice, and i found a man called Jesus along the way. He's always at the same place everytime i stray away. i had loved so hard that i hated, and i hated to love hard. I had laughed and then cried and cried about the times i laughed until it all turned into fear's silence, and then my silence began to sing. I didnt kno how free i was until i was trapped inside my own chest, and it was only when i was trapped in my own chest that i realized that i had been freed.... i found something in my heart that had always enabled me to fly. .... So now im on the right path. Its funny how i thought i'd found myself asking for directions to the same place i once was. But i decided to see some new scenery, and i embarked on a journey with no intentions to find love. It was all planned out to rediscover me. I had planned to travel through my skin, to my bones, and into my soul to make sure that the only thing residing there was God, wrapped in faith, and fed with love. Then i'd travel to my mind, and tongue to make sure only songs of praise were being sung. But it was as i moved to my hands, and up to my eyes that i got sidetracked by an outside emotion called fear, as i cast my gaze onto an angel. A man who's light shown so bright the sun was in danger. And who's destiny was meant to be in my life, like a script written in a manger. .....And thats when i found the courage to love again, for the first time....i was an angel with but one wing, and the devil had knocked me down and bruised me. He'd confused me and used me, but see God wasn't through with me. And when i met this man, my gift and angel, God whispered in my ear, step aside. That the storm was over, but my story wasnt. So Ronnie i do love u. For the first time i love in peace, without fear, and restraints. This time, for the first time, God has ensured me that i can win. Everything in my life has failed me. Everything i ever wanted to last didnt. And it was hard to measure my victories when i was constantly trying to beat the odds it seemed. But now i've found the right person, for the first time, and got an army of angels on my side. You've got me wantin and doin things i said i'd never do.Like travel to the end of the earth for u,just to see a sign that read "dead end", "wrong way", and had to turn around just to find you.4 broken hearts ...= almost 19 years of crying myself to sleepnever feeling like your best was enough...= 24 hour periods of self doubt.But having someone prove you and everyone else wrong...=...priceless...And for that, this time i refuse to quit, cuz i'm convinced it's legit.Got me having three-somes and shit,Who knew me, you, and God could feel so good...And yeh im a little selfish, and been thinkin bout getting your name tatted on my heart and eye lids... but only in reverse..So it can only be read within my heart, and since i dream, its the only way i can write your name across the sky.You're everything i never knew i always wanted, something like a dream come true, mixed with a little passion and devotion, with a side of faith and hope, all covered and insured by Allstate... cuz i know im in good hands.And for all this i want to thank you for giving me the courage to love, for the very first time..... again......