Tomorrow my cousin is having surgery to remove a tumor from one of his lungs; in hopes that it will sustain his life. He has been battling cancer of the rarest form for the past few years, and his doctors recently told him that there was nothing else that they could do. So he asked one doctor to try and perform a seemingly "miracle" surgery to try to remove one of his tumors, so he can have the chance to live a longer life. My cousin says, "I'd rather die on the operating table fighting than to keep living like this suffering....."
So, it's less than 24 hours until his operation and it's beginning to set in to me the magnitude of what's about to happen, and what's at stake for him. And it breaks my heart.
I cannot imagine sitting there knowing that i am about to undergo a surgery tomorrow that may determine my life. The doctors told him that he may not even survive the surgery, but he still wants to try. And i just cant fathom how he feels.
We take for granted the sunrise, ya know. Something so simple that symbolizes the start of a new day. How would you feel if you didnt know if you'd get to see that again?
I was riding around in the car today, and i looked around at the world around me, and i just thought to myself, wow, what if i knew that every day i was dying, and i wanted to live, but the odds are, i wont?
To look at the faces of everyone i love and hope that i can at least go to heaven to see them again if i dont get to see them tomorrow....
I just hurt for him so bad.
So,
i pray for you, God to grant him the miracle of a Sunrise, please just give in the joy of better and brighter days. I would give everything i have just for the chance that he could live a better life. It takes so much courage God, to willingly want to undergo an operation that he may never wake up from, but he wants to try, so that he can live a better life if he can pull through. Its such a marvelous exemplification and example of faith. Someone who truly puts their life in the father's hands.
So you see God, He loves and trust you probably more than me. He deserves all the joys and riches and opportunities that i have Lord. He deserves the happinesses that i have Lord. If i thought for a second that i could trade my life of happiness for one of pain, so he could experience a life free from suffering, i would. And i know you have a lot of things to take care of, and you yourself can understand how i feel for you watched your own son suffer too. But i was just hoping that you could grant him this miracle gift, for me, and on my behalf. They say there's no cure in sight, so i ask for a miracle, that's a medicine he hasn't tried yet, and one only you can prescribe.
And i just want you to know Lord that i admit in this that i'm a little selfish, for i'd love to get to have him here with me a little while longer, at least for his sister, mother, father, and nephew's sake, they need him more than i do. And my selfishness isn't naive to the fact that i know your will will be done, and i trust that. I understand that he' s a wonderful guy so you may have greater plans for him, those of which i am unaware of. So if you choose to have him keep your company, i just pray for strength for all of us who would miss him, and allow us to live a faith driven life like he's doing now, so we can see him again....
Amen
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Ash all I can say is God's Will be done...If you think about it what's better Heaven or Earth...In my opinion there is no greater place than with God...I know how it feels to lose a family member who has been suffering for so long...I learned at the end that I had to trust God to make the right decision on my great-grandmother's life, who I was really close to...At first I really wanted her to stay and get better and be healed then i realized that I was praying for the wrong thing...when I was suppose to be praying for God's will to be done. If I haven't learned anything else in life I've learned to let go of the things that hurts you in life and allow God to take care of it...I Love You Ashley and I'm praying for you and your family...I pray that God places his arms of love and peace and protection around your cousin...God Bless This Family
(From Sharnett)
Ashley my love, my friend, my truth....
I read this and i know that every word you write is true because i know you. I know you would easily trade your happiness for someone you love to experience it. Thats the greatness of the person that you are. And i know, like you do, that God is working all around us and has a plan for us and your cousin. I have not had the pleasure to meet your cousin but i know that he is all that you say he is, and he deserves happiness of the greatest kind, especially because his faith is so strong. The lord will do his will, and it maybe that he works a miracle and your cousin pulls through, blessing us with another example of his greatness, but he could also take him and that would be a blessing all in itself. The lord is building an army and he may need your cousin, a man who truly believes, on his side. Whatever happens just know that the lord is by your side and will only put on you and your family what he knows you can handle. I am here for you and love you unconditionally.
Your sister
Sharnett
Its crazy cause while reading you prayer I was thinking.. I understand Ash's request, but Gods will be done. Nonetheless, one step ahead of me-better yet, beside me.. you acknowledge that God will do what he finds best. There is something to be said about a person that can see outside of their plans. You and I both know that He never gives you more than you can bear, regardless of the outcome, I'm proud of how you are handling this. We spoke a while ago when he just got back in the hospital and I could tell it was affecting you, but your spirit is still shining through.. bruised but not broken. Just keep on keeping on Ash, that's what you do best. God will work everything out as He sees fit, and you just have to continue to put your trust in him the same way your cousin has. My prayer go out to him and his family. I love you sunshine
-Ya light
Post a Comment