*The Road to ....... anywhere worth going.....*

Today I went to the park with the only real CONSISTENT friend I have left besides Brandi. Besides some unfortunate, unnccessary conversations, and a few tears, I had a nice time. I read some of Obama's book, The Audacity of Hope, for a little mental stimulation, and just laid on my back and looked at the vast sky above me; feeling undoubtly small. When we first got to the park, it was mad hot, and I thought we'd never get to the place we were going to set up our blanket and just relax. But when we were leaving, and finally got to the car, Jackee said, "Now didn't the walk going back seem a whole lot shorter than the walk going? That's how it always is, getting there always takes longer than getting back." She laughed, and got in the car. And as I did i took one last glance at the path we had just walked, and thought about the days events, situations, and thoughts.

A Yiddish Proverb says, "From success to failure is one step; from failure to success is a long road" I thought this quote fitting for my epiphany for today. Anything worth having in this world, whether it be a meaningful relationship, a significant job, nuturing friendships, a sound, fulfilling education, all of these things, once obtained, are deemed as successes. Its a long road to get to this place, and it's so easy to get back to where you were. Many times we try to build something, to grow into whoever we aspire to be, be all that we can be and more, and sometimes it gets hard, that road seems just too long; its much easier to slip back into the way we were, the life we used to live. Failure can come with one simple step. However sucess is a long road, and it always seems like it takes longer to get there, than it does to get back to nothing, or where you've come from. Today at the park I saw a cardinal. I was just talking to Ronine the other day about CArdinals and Blue Jays. Hadn't seen one in awhile. And I saw it just as i was crying and thinking that success was too far out of my reach, and giving up. And although even today, it took us a while to get there, God showed me somethings, gave me a sign with a simple bird to keep on flying in his direction, the one I've been struggling to go in for a long time now.

So in closing, everything worth having in this world requires sacrifice, patience, love strong enough and powerful enough to endure, and faith. So success in all I deem worthy of my best efforts and praise, I know that to get there is not gonna be easy, and a heavy load to bear, but God don't make mistakes, so I gotta get there.....


when others want to run, i'll choose to stand,

~ash